New Things and New People

I really have to learn to post more frequently than I do. If you read this, I am sorry. Although, I don't think I have any followers. I have recently taken stock of my life thus far, and I have noticed a few things about me that aren't so bad. Generally I am very self critical. I have noticed that I generally shy away from being in the spotlight. I never really understood that before. Most people like getting attention and being noticed. After serious contemplation, I discovered that the main reason is that I just enjoy the peace I think. I have recently joined the Susanville Symphony and have become friends with the director, Benjamin Wade. He gets a lot of attention due to his appearances on the Survivor shows he's been in. He's also about to film a movie, so he's famous. He has a book out on his world record setting kayak trip also. I have the opportunity to hang out with him usually every week and through our usual conversations, I have learned that he is extremely busy. You also can't go anywhere with him without someone noticing him and mentioning his TV shows. He does very well with all the attention and I think it suits him well. But just from my half a second experience with fame due to my combat exploits making the headlines in my hometown, my speech at the traveling Vietnam Memorial, and the few times I've made the papers and the radio, I have been exposed to what it's like to try and go somewhere real quick, only to get back 3 hours later because you were stopped by everyone you met. The difference maybe is that I just did my job and don't feel I deserve the attention, so it began a feeling of loathing the attention which is still within me. He has accomplished things that are very deserving of the attention he attracts so it's not so bad. I don't know, but what I do know is that my few seconds of "fame" are all but gone and I do enjoy the peace. Also, when I am hanging out with him, nobody notices me and I kinda like that, lol. He talks about being a warrior and I can relate to that, because that has been my life. What he has accomplished with the symphony is an absolute treasure and I love being a part of it, so he's not a bad guy to be around. I just hope he doesn't abandon what he's started here because that would be a tragedy.